Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Frogs made us late to school

We were going to be on time.  We really were.  I even had time to cut up some strawberries for Lily and steam touch up my pants.
Soooo, I'm standing there with no pants on, and decide to bring the strawberry remainders to the compost pile.  On the way there I see this really awesome bird, a big heron.  He is standing next to my pool.
The pool is a little green.  The cleaner thing needs a part because my kids can't keep their damned hands off of it so, surprise, it is broken.  Inez, the awesome pool guy should fix it today.
Meanwhile, my pool looks like a pond, even fooling the bird.
Mr. Heron is pacing back and forth trying to get the frog in his mouth to go ahead and die.  It is not quite like that "NEVER GIVE UP" T-shirt, but close.  He dunks the frog in the water several times trying to drown it.  This gives us time to take pictures with the big camera and then to try to get more shots with my iPhone.

He is not giving up on this frog so we are able to get pretty close.  In the process we see two other frogs swimming in the pool.  Lily is able to scoop one up in the net.  I can't find the other one.  Dammit.  We are really going to be late now.  I run to the closest filter cover, open it, no frog.  There is lots of crap I need to dump out because, it is there.  I can't just leave it.
Shit  Definitely going to be late.  I run to the other side of the pool to the other filter cover.  Mr. Heron is still trying to swallow his frog and eying me suspiciously.  Maybe it's because I'm not wearing pants, I'm not sure. 
I yank off the cover and there on a pile of leaves are two adorable brown toads. (Emily will tell if they are frogs or toads).  They are tiny and surprised and staring at me like two amphibious Anne Franks.  Don't worry tiny toads.  I'm not with the bird.
I toss the toads in the high grass where they will be safe.  Now we are REALLY late.  I scream at Lily to get in the car.  Running inside, I frantically pull now warm and wrinkle-free pants out of dryer and jump into them, Fireman style.  Wash hands quickly, grab bag, phone, etc. Run to car and screech out of driveway, confirming to my neighbors that I am indeed insane.
The victory is, HA, we were not actually late.  1 minute to spare.  Allison 1, ADHD BRAIN 1,563.  ADHD BRAIN still winning but I'll take my victory.

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